Caleb: are you in da shower?
Me: yup almost done buddy
Caleb: is this your towel?
Me: yup it's waiting for me
Caleb: can I hide it?
Me: um no... Then I'll be cold and wet, buddy!
Caleb: I hide it...
😂😂
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Marble Tower
Since becoming a mom I've had to be many things. Cook, laundress, caregiver and housekeeper were certainly expected... exhausting (they have to eat every day multiple times!)... but expected.
Then there are the jobs I didn't think as much about; driver, party planner, activities director, office manager, warden... I mean disciplinarian... baker/ cake decorator. Ok, maybe I should have thought more about these jobs, but ok... I can do these too I guess...
Additionally, there are now roles I have to take on for which I am wholly unqualified! I have to be a nurse, early education specialist, spiritual guide and engineer...
Yesterday, my sons got out one of their favorite toys, a marble tower. It has 100 pieces of varying size that all go together in to a fantastic obstacle course of marble fun; if you have an undergrad in Engineering. Sigh. I looked around panic stricken for my husband - he wasn't home from work... I knew this, but that panic center in my brain looked anyways. I suggested to the boys that they try to put it together and encouraged them saying I know they can do it if they try, but in all reality, I know they can't do it yet. They're 4 and 2. Isaac is 4 and smart and he can do lots of cool things and he's going to master this pretty soon from watching Dad, but not yet...
So, I tried. I put pieces together while the kids strewn marbles all over and dinner simmered (have to remember to run out there and turn that off in 10 minutes- no added pressure!) I turned off the TV to focus and everything... but when it was done, well, it didn't work. The marbles got stuck in one area and then skipped the fun obstacles and just dropped to the floor.
Isaac looked at me and asked why I couldn't make it work. He was so disappointed, Mom is supposed to be able to do everything. I... was upset. I know I could have figured this out given more time and no distractions. You don't ACTUALLY need to be an engineer to do this, but I needed more time, less distractions... all stuff I didn't have.
Now I did have guilt and disappointment and frustration. Isaac asked innocently why I couldn't build it, but it struck me deeply because so often I'm asking myself inside, why can't I do this, why I can't I be there on time, why can't I get Caleb potty trained, why can't we be consistent in our discipline, why am I never enough?
If I'm not careful, I can get very low. Very empty. I feel very ill-equiped sometimes to parent these little guys. Deep breath.
God's word has some encouragement momma...
Everything God calls me to do He equips me do.
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6
Then there are the jobs I didn't think as much about; driver, party planner, activities director, office manager, warden... I mean disciplinarian... baker/ cake decorator. Ok, maybe I should have thought more about these jobs, but ok... I can do these too I guess...
Additionally, there are now roles I have to take on for which I am wholly unqualified! I have to be a nurse, early education specialist, spiritual guide and engineer...
Yesterday, my sons got out one of their favorite toys, a marble tower. It has 100 pieces of varying size that all go together in to a fantastic obstacle course of marble fun; if you have an undergrad in Engineering. Sigh. I looked around panic stricken for my husband - he wasn't home from work... I knew this, but that panic center in my brain looked anyways. I suggested to the boys that they try to put it together and encouraged them saying I know they can do it if they try, but in all reality, I know they can't do it yet. They're 4 and 2. Isaac is 4 and smart and he can do lots of cool things and he's going to master this pretty soon from watching Dad, but not yet...
So, I tried. I put pieces together while the kids strewn marbles all over and dinner simmered (have to remember to run out there and turn that off in 10 minutes- no added pressure!) I turned off the TV to focus and everything... but when it was done, well, it didn't work. The marbles got stuck in one area and then skipped the fun obstacles and just dropped to the floor.
Isaac looked at me and asked why I couldn't make it work. He was so disappointed, Mom is supposed to be able to do everything. I... was upset. I know I could have figured this out given more time and no distractions. You don't ACTUALLY need to be an engineer to do this, but I needed more time, less distractions... all stuff I didn't have.
Now I did have guilt and disappointment and frustration. Isaac asked innocently why I couldn't build it, but it struck me deeply because so often I'm asking myself inside, why can't I do this, why I can't I be there on time, why can't I get Caleb potty trained, why can't we be consistent in our discipline, why am I never enough?
If I'm not careful, I can get very low. Very empty. I feel very ill-equiped sometimes to parent these little guys. Deep breath.
God's word has some encouragement momma...
Everything God calls me to do He equips me do.
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6
Thursday, January 29, 2015
A Change of Mind
Life goes by so fast. This isn't a new concept. I'd like to try to write about my faith, my husband, my kids, my career, my life... all the moments I quickly forget as life is happening.
Yesterday was challenging at work. Assignments aren't clear, deadlines are unrealistic, duplicate work is inevitable and annoying. By the time I leave work, I'm drained. I'm tired and frustrated. As I was driving to daycare, I was praying Lord, Lord please help me be excited to see my boys this evening. Please give me energy (I don't know from where - talk about a God thing!) to engage with them and help me not to take out my frustration on them when they do the things kids do. Also Lord, please help us have a better bedtime than last night! ... I know... and a pony... I'd like a pony... ha ha.
I was going to skip church (sorry church family!). I had 5 good excuses all lined up:
1) Isaac is stuffy
2) Caleb is stuffy
3) I got out of work late
4) I have to make dinner for Thursday/Friday
5) It's a long drive
When I picked up the boys they started asking; is it swim night?... No, that's tomorrow Caleb. Then Isaac said "no - it's mission friends night!"
Totally bedraggled mommy: "Oh baby - I don't think we're going to mission friends tonight"
Isaac: "Why not? We have to go to mission friends! We want to go to mission friends, right Caleb?"
Caleb: "mission fwiends!"
The Lord answered my prayer that quickly. Hearing them plead to go to church reset my clock: gave me the energy to run home, grab them crackers and salami and a banana (mom of the year I know) and also to not spend the whole night home on the couch nit-picking everyone's behavior because I was tired and frustrated from my day. We all went to church and got the blessing of fellowship with our friends in mission friends and choir.
Thank you, Father for Your care for me. Help me to always see Your hand in my day to day.
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